“Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.”
Ruth 1:14 (ESV)
The last words of a young father who put his four year old son on a school bus on the morning of 9/11/01, were, “Say goodbye again.” The father felt a mysterious urge to call him back for a second goodbye hug and kiss. That moment was planted in his son’s heart, as a cherished memory after his father went to work that day, at the Pentagon, but never returned home.
When a hijacked plane was forced to fly into the Pentagon building that morning, 184 lives were lost. I saw a brief interview with his son, who is now 29 years old, who still cherishes the memory of his father asking him for that second goodbye.
The whole story got me thinking about all the routine goodbyes that we say each day, whether to friends, loved ones or acquaintances. We never know when the simplest goodbye moment might remain as a sacred memory to someone as a gift that lasts forever.
The story of Naomi in the Old Testament is probably the best bible story about saying goodbyes. She lost her husband and her two adult sons, though scripture never explains how they all died. Naomi most likely said a routine goodbye to them one day, and they never came home. This story from the book of Ruth begins with a dismal reality of an elderly widow, who has no family left, except two widowed daughters in law, and no grandchildren.
Since her two daughters in law were young enough to remarry and have a family, Naomi encouraged them to return to their home towns and live their lives. Naomi said goodbye to her two gentile daughters in law, and planned to move on to Bethlehem, where relatives of her husband’s tribe dwelled and shared her same faith in the God of Israel.
After saying goodbye, Orpah, her one daughter in law, kissed and hugged Naomi, and left, but Ruth, her other daughter in law, clung to Naomi, refusing to leave her. Naomi said ‘goodbye again’ to Ruth, trying to let her go, but she kept clinging to her, speaking words of loyalty that are still recited as part of the Jewish wedding ceremony to this day:
“Wherever you go I will go, 🎵
wherever you lodge I will lodge.
Your people shall be my people
and your God, my God.” (Ruth 1:16)
Naomi’s attempt to say a second and final goodbye to her daughter in law, changed both of their lives forever. Ruth insisted in staying with her mother in law and accompanied her to Bethlehem. Naomi and Ruth arrived in a new town to begin a new life, and God gave them hope for a new future. Ruth ended up marrying Naomi’s relative, Boaz, and they had a baby boy named Obed.
Naomi and Ruth had a family again, and Obed, Naomi’s grandson, was the joy of her life. Whatever life brings, it’s never too late to find the good purpose God has for those who trust in Him, who turns our mourning into joy.
Ruth’s son, Obed, grew to become the grandfather of David, the writer of Psalms, who ruled Israel for forty years. David was an ancestor to Jesus, according to Matthew’s gospel. Because of Ruth’s love and loyalty to Naomi, she is forever a part of the geneology of Jesus. Second goodbyes can go a long way.
Just as that young man kept a 25 year cherished memory of his father’s second goodbye on that September morning, we may have cherished memories of our loved ones. Each generation becomes a new and living hope of the previous one, and in some mystical way, love lives on through them forever.
The best advice I ever heard for those who suffer a premature loss of a loved one, is,
“There is still somebody out there who needs your love.”
Naomi didn’t know at the time that a future grandson would be blessed by her love as his grandmother. Ruth learned that life didn’t end with her widowhood, and both women found that saying goodbye is not the end, but an introduction to new beginnings.
Lord, give us the heart of Ruth and Naomi, to see your purpose in trials, to be ready to offer our presence, friendship and love to those you bring into our lives. Amen
