Kissed by the Spirit

“Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours.”

Matthew 17:27 (NIV)

Not many sermons are preached on this strange but interesting story in Matthew’s gospel. If God can have a specific fish ready at the right time, with the exact amount of money in its mouth, to meet a monetary need, the message must be that God will  help us meet our financial obligations.

Peter, James and John had just witnessed the transfiguration. Their hearts were stirred in awe at hearing the voice of God on that mountain top. Right after that, their faith was increased even more by seeing Jesus cast a demon out of a young boy.

While still enjoying all these spiritual highs, Peter was approached by the temple tax collectors who came to tell him that taxes were due from Peter and Jesus. Every Hebrew adult male was obligated to pay an annual temple tax for upkeep of the temple. 

Hearing that money was due had to be a spiritual damper while they were still filled with the awe of what they had just experienced. It’s a reminder for us that mountain top experiences are inspiring but we still have to return to real life obligations.

Peter went from having a glimpse of heaven, hearing God’s voice, and witnessing miracles, to being asked to pay his temple tax bill that was due. He hurried to tell Jesus about it, knowing he had no money to pay it. Jesus calmly told Peter to go to the sea, drop in a hook and the first fish he catches will have the exact amount that is due, inside its mouth. Peter did it and found a four drachma coin in the fish’s mouth, just as Jesus predicted, and paid their taxes.

It’s a great story to inspire faith in God’s financial provision, but there has to be a meaning beyond trusting God to help us meet our financial obligations.

Peter, a fisherman, was told to go to the sea and catch a fish, a process which he was already familiar with as a fisherman. If Peter was a baker, Jesus might have told him to look inside the next loaf of bread he baked. God works His blessings through what is familiar to our daily routines.  We learn that God works through whatever we are most familiar with. 

Some blessings come through the mouth of those who are a part of our daily routine. It could be through the advice, words or conversations we have with the people we work with or meet throughout the day. 

The blessings we receive over time come out of our sea. It consists of our family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors, who are the fish that God placed in our sea, for a purpose. 

God’s blessings may not always be obvious at first, since they can come through the prayers, conversations, and friendships of others, over time. God also sends us to be the fish in other people’s sea, using us to bless them as well.

We cannot take much with us when we leave this present life, but every relationship remains in our hearts forever. Most blessings are apparent  but others are hidden, until we look into the mouth of the fish that God brought into our sea. Relationships in our lifetime are the fabrics woven into our souls, and will always be with us. It might be something that someone once said, taught, or the example they left with us, which helped to form who we are today. 

I have a first cousin, Barbara, who I lost touch with for four decades. As children we were close and our families spent a lot of time together. Barbara moved as a young adult to northern California where she has lived with her husband and two daughters in a San Francisco suburb. Our mothers both passed away many years ago, and neither of us kept in touch or traveled to see each other. 

When Barbara heard about Jon’s accident three years ago, she quickly reached out to me. We reconnected and revived our relationship so that we now text and communicate pretty regularly. We are both convinced that our mothers brought us back together. 

Whether it is people who we see on a daily basis, or those who live a long distance away, or loved ones who have passed away, they are all the fish that God brought into our sea. Their example, prayers, words, love and friendship is forever woven into the character of our own souls.

Lord, thank you for sending people as blessings into our lives, and for sending us into their lives, according to your timing and holy purpose. Amen

“Now to Him who by the power at work within us is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think.”

Ephesians 3:20 (RSV)

After my son’s brain surgery for a skull fracture and brain bleed in 2023, the neurosurgeon told me that however he is around 18 months after the accident, would be how he remains. At that time, Jon didn’t speak at all, wore a diaper, was fed through a stomach tube and was receiving physical therapy to learn to walk. 

It has been three years since his motorcycle accident and traumatic brain injury, which is far beyond the 18 months. Jon now walks on his own (with a limp), feeds himself, speaks clearly once in a while and recently started using the toilet. His right arm is still paralyzed but he puts slippers on his feet, and deodorant under his arm, using his left hand. Yesterday he walked over to a nurse assistant and asked, “Can you cut my nails?” The nurse assistant was shocked since Jon seldom says words that are understandable. So he granted his request and cut his nails. 

When I visited him the day after, I heard about this and said, “Jon, I heard you got your nails cut”, and he nodded and lifted his hand to show me. His speech and comprehension are still slow but progress is ongoing, which far surpasses his prognosis. 

A few years earlier, I met the mother of another resident in his early forties, nearly the same age as Jon. Her son had kidney failure which began as a child, and he was now in dire need of a kidney transplant. He was admitted to receive dialysis treatments, but he refused to stop smoking, so a transplant was not in the near future for him. At the time, my son was unable to walk at all, sitting in a chair, with a feeding tube in his stomach, and a breathing tube in his throat, unable to speak. 

As the two of us mothers were chatting during our visit that day, her son had an angry outburst towards another resident. She looked at me and I looked at her, and without a word, we communicated. She knew I felt her embarrassment and frustration about his behavior. We understood each other since we both had adult sons with serious medical problems, far beyond our control. It was as if we shared a bond of understanding which required no further words.

When I left that day, we happened to meet in the parking lot, even though she left a few minutes before me. She asked me if she could pray for Jon, and we held hands and prayed for each other’s sons. After saying goodbye, we never saw each other again, since her son was discharged, a few months later to live in his own. 

I’ll never forget that day and our brief connection with a moment of prayer in the parking lot. I pray for her son but never saw him or his mom again. God answered many prayers for Jon, since that day, and I hope He did for her son as well. 

God reveals His presence in our lives by bringing certain people together. Sometimes it’s only for a moment of prayer in a parking lot. Other times, He brings people together as friends for a longer time, like the parents of Andy, a man near the same age as Jon. Andy has been in the facility as long as Jon has, and he has also come a long way in the past three years. 

God works in mysterious ways, by networking people together, since He fully understands what we are going through. He works in ways, beyond what we could ever ask or imagine. 

As scripture tells us, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, and 

his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning.”

(Lamentations 3:22-23)

Lord, thank you for showing us your love us during the difficult times, by bringing special people into our lives. Amen

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

Romans 8:18 (NIV)

I had a good friend for fifty years, and even though we didn’t agree in many ways, we were there for each other in the many seasons of life. Someone once said that ‘your best friend is your unpaid therapist.’

It’s so true and when you lose a good friend it leaves a void in your life. 

In 2019 I lost my husband, then in  2021 my friend of fifty years was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and two months later she passed away. In 2022, a much younger friend who I worked with for twelve years, passed away prematurely. Whether we lose a spouse, a sibling or a good friend, it is like losing a gift from God. When we lose a special gift, it leaves a vacuum inside, called grief.

I recently saw a meme that read “Grief is unspent love.” 

After any kind of loss, we need to find a new outlet, purpose, or direction to reinvest and spend our love on. I believe that Jesus is our truest friend who sticks closer to us than anyone. He can fill the vacuum of grief within us, bless us with His friendship and show us how to best spend our unspent love. 

For me, writing has become one way of reinvesting unspent love. Through writing, I’m able to pay tribute to old friends, honor loved ones who I’ve lost, and encourage the faith of all my current friends. It’s a blessing to build new friendships through writing these meditations. 

Paul’s advice to the Philippians is telling them to ‘press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.’ There is an upward call to each of us and part of that upward call is to find a new way to spend our love in this world. It could be through charity work, or church volunteering in some way. When we give our time to someone, we are giving them a portion of our life, another way to spend our unspent love.

Rick Warren is known for his successful book, “The Purpose Driven Life.” He learned a lot about grief when his own son committed suicide in 2013.  Rick launched a ministry to help people with mental illness and gives 90% of the book’s proceeds to that ministry. He said that our number one purpose in life is to know how much we are loved by God. Until we truly grasp that, we can never love Him, ourself or anyone else. God wants us not to waste our pain, but rather to press on and find new ways to spend the unspent love He has placed in us. 

Lord, lift up all hearts today to know how much you love us, and inspire us to find new ways to spend the love you have placed in us. 

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Psalm 23:6 (RSV)

In this meditation, I put the picture first, instead of last, because the look on this lamb’s face is worth a thousand words. He seems to be saying, Where is everybody?  Which way is home? Help, I’m lost!

He doesn’t know that his shepherd is right behind him, running to catch him before he wanders deeper into the woods. Goodness and mercy are running behind him, but he just hasn’t realized it yet. 

Just like that lamb, sometimes we are unaware that goodness and mercy is running behind us. There may be times when we feel lost in the woods. Whatever type of woods we are in, the deeper we go, the more we tend to convince ourselves that we are alone, and no one else knows what we are going through, but in reality, Jesus is right behind us.

I remember being lost in the woods when I was four years old. My relatives had a cabin in a wooded area, somewhere in Michigan, and they invited my family to come visit. Somehow I wandered away from the family cabin, and got lost in the woods. Some very kind people in a nearby cabin found me and took me in, and they kept me safe until they found my worried parents. 

We may not get lost in the physical woods, but we can feel the same isolation or loneliness, by being in a place that is far away from all that has been familiar to us. It might be a situation that removes every sense of stability, security or peace. It could be the woods of a deteriorating relationship or a financial burden, or maybe a health scare that leaves us in a dark place, filled with fear. 

We have all been in the woods of some kind, and we all fit the image of that bewildered lamb in the picture, who unknowingly has his good Shepherd running behind him. 

Goodness and mercy are more than a shift in our destiny, or the answers to our prayers. It’s more than a thing, it’s a person-it’s Jesus, our shepherd, who is good and merciful, and follows us all the days of our life. We have all been taught to follow Jesus, and we should, but there are times when He follows us, because that’s what Shepherds do for their sheep.

The Lord manifests His goodness and mercy in our lives, in different ways at different times. Sometimes, that goodness and mercy is revealed through others, like the kind people who took me into their cabin, when I was a helpless and lost four year old. 

Even when our faith weakens and we give up hope in moments of crisis, His goodness and mercy still follows us in the dark, wooded trials of our lives, assuring us that He is right there. Jesus is also with us, following us all of our days, if we only look behind.

Lord, whatever we go through, help us to trust that you are always running behind us with goodness and mercy, all the days of our lives. 

“Provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”

Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)

My mother passed away in 2006 at the age of 92, but her good friend, Elsa, lived to the age of 102, passing away in 2021. I learned of her death, too late to attend her funeral service, but her family recorded the entire funeral on YouTube. Each of her relatives gave a touching eulogy, and it was obvious that Elsa lived a very love and faith filled life for the majority of her 102 years. I say the “majority” of her years, because her childhood was cruelly interrupted by the holocaust.

What I remember most about Elsa were the numbers tattooed on her forearm. She grew up in Hungary, during WWII. When the Nazis took over Hungary, her family was taken from their home, and Elsa was separated from them. At the age of twelve, she was in a concentration camp, and became a number instead of a person, never to see her family again. 

I cannot recall the details of how Elsa survived and made it safely to America, but she later married and raised a family, settling in the Chicago area. She lived a good long life, even with numbers tattooed on her arm. It’s a reminder that beauty can still come from ashes, as she overcame the sorrowful time in a Nazi camp. 

I found it interesting that not one of her family’s eulogies made mention of Elsa’s time spent in the Nazi camp. At first I was perplexed by their neglect of such a sorrowful phase in her life. Each eulogy described who Elsa was and what she meant to the family. Her children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, and great grandchildren all gave eulogies describing how much love and joy she brought into their lives.

Then it occurred to me that her early period of suffering was not disregarded, but the person she became had overshadowed the tragedy she overcame. During the years of her long life, her family celebrated who Elsa was and what she meant to them, which was greater than the tragedy of her early life. As I listened to the last and final eulogy, I felt hope that all people can become the person God intended them to be, which overshadows all sorrow.

In that moment I imagined Elsa and my mother together in heaven, joyfully reunited in a warm embrace.

The numbers on Elsa’s arm represent the ashes of despair in today’s scripture, which God can turn into the oil of gladness. Sorrow and injustice can keep us too focused on the ashes, but God gives us grace to overcome the most unimaginable sorrows. We have the potential, like Elsa, to rise above our ashes and become a beacon of hope, love and strength for others. 

The cross of Christ reminds us of the ashes of mourning, symbolic of His suffering, like numbers tattooed on Elsa’s arm reminded her of a time of great sorrow. Everything Jesus suffered for us, was later turned into a crown of beauty and a garment of praise through His glorious resurrection. 

Jesus is now our beacon of faith, hope, and love, who gives us strength to rise above the ashes. His cross is a reminder of the grace and mercy that forever exchanged our ashes for a crown of beauty and a garment of praise. 

Lord, give us the wisdom to know we are much more than the sum of our suffering, but made to reflect your love into the lives of others.

“He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

John 21:17 (NAB)

This conversation took place after the resurrection, when Jesus was making His last appearances to certain people over a period of forty days. He went to Peter, asking him three times if he loved Him, and Peter told Jesus, “Lord, you already know.”

Jesus knew but He still asked him three times in a row. Maybe He also knew that Peter was still paralyzed with shame after denying the Lord three times, but Jesus wasn’t interested in the past, only if he loved Him in that present moment.

God doesn’t dwell on our past failures or sins already forgiven, so neither should we. He is always working among us in the present tense. Jesus seemed to be saying to Peter, “Forget the past, do you love me today? Then let’s move forward with the good plans I have for you.”

In another questioning moment, the disciples were telling Jesus what the crowd was saying about Him, but Jesus brought it back to  them, asking, 

“But who do you say that I am?”

He wasn’t interested in the crowd’s opinion, but wanted to know what was in their hearts in that present moment.

Next, Jesus encountered a paralyzed man at the healing pool of Bethesda, and asked him an obvious question, 

“Do you want to be healed ?” Instead of answering with a simple “Yes, Lord”, the man proceeded to ramble on about the past 38 years, that no one ever helped him into the healing pool. Jesus ignored his story about the past and just said,

“Pick up your mat and walk.”

There’s something about Jesus that He keeps pulling us out of the past and into the present. God already knows our story, He knows all of our disappointments, betrayals and losses, but He calls us to stay with Him in the present moment. There is no time or space in Heaven. Every moment is in the present tense, therefore we should live in the present tense. 

A woman I knew from a church I once attended was diagnosed with a sarcoma which is a form of bone cancer. In her distress, she went into the empty church one day, and sat in the pew praying but stressing over her diagnosis. She felt Jesus speak clearly to her heart, asking, 

“Don’t you trust Me?”

She said yes and resolved to trust the Lord from that day on. After her medical treatment, the cancer never came back, and that was decades ago. 

When reflecting on the kind of questions Jesus asks, He hopes the answers from our heart are:

“Yes Lord, I love you, I believe you are the Son of God, and Lord, I trust you for healing.” 

Those are essential answers to essential questions. Jesus always leads us to forgive, to be forgiven, to receive healing, to be a messenger of the good news, feed His sheep and live in the present.

God is writing a beautiful story, and we all have a part in it. He is moving us forward, beyond all our fears, failures, and insecurities. That’s what it means to spiritually pick up our mat and start walking. 

Lord, help us to hear and answer your questions, and to stay in the present with you, to be made whole   and bless others. 

“He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is dumb,
so he opened not his mouth.”

Isaiah 53:7 (RSV)

Isaiah described an afflicted, silent Messiah, whose mouth was closed. Jesus was very outspoken throughout His ministry, until His arrest. There’s a contrast between the Rabbi with a whip, who turned over the money changers’ tables, and the wounded Lamb of God, who carried His blood stained cross up Golgotha’s hill. Jesus showed us by example, that there’s a time to speak out boldly and a time to be silent. 

He silently submitted to His arrest, until Peter sprang into hero mode, and cut off someone’s ear. Jesus abruptly told him to put away the sword, saying,

“Don’t you think I can call upon my Father and he’ll provide me with more than twelve legions of angels?”  (Matthew 26:53) 

He was saying no one needs to ever use violence on His behalf.

Twelve legions of angels is equal to 72,000 angels, just standing by in case Jesus called upon them for deliverance, but He chose not to be delivered, but to deliver us instead. 

When Jesus was silent during the questioning by Pilate and Herod, He barely answered any of their questions, except to say things like, 

“From now on you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of the Power and coming on the clouds of heaven.” 

Jesus spoke boldly to assert His authority in the beginning of His ministry, but later used the powerful tool of silence, to show that His authority is not of this world. In silence we can find peace in our pain, knowing that God is still God. 

He embraced silence toward the end of life, and His last words spoken from the cross have special significance for us. From the cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” By forgiving His accusers and murderers, Jesus overcame evil with good. It’s a reminder that we are to follow Him and overcome evil with good.

When he cried out in Aramaic, saying, My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?”, Jesus didn’t lose faith in His Father, He was quoting Psalm 22, a psalm full of Messianic prophecies that were fulfilled by Him. One of the prophecies in that Psalm was that men would gamble for His garments, predicted 1,000 years before His crucifixion.

Jesus fulfilled 300 Messianic prophecies in scripture. Isaiah’s prophecy in the 53rd chapter, described a Lamb led to the slaughter, who was “pierced” for our iniquities. 

His purpose was foretold and fulfilled, even in the darkest moments on the cross. As we trust and cling to Jesus, we will find purpose in the dark and painful seasons of our lives.

Mark Twain said, “The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” People live longer, more fulfilled lives when lived with a sense of purpose. 

Jesus ministered to the criminal hanging next to Him, saying, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” Even on our worst day, there is someone nearby who is also suffering and needs us. Our faith is anchored in God and in what He says, so our words can be few. The things that matter most, require the fewest words.

Jesus could have talked more, and given indisputable proof of who He was, but there is a time when silence is the most powerful tool. Whatever cross we are currently carrying, there is a time to be silent and trust Jesus, who always is walking beside us, saying, “Trust Me, I’ve got this.”

Lord, help us to embrace the beauty of silence as you walk beside us in the victory of your resurrection.

“He answered them, “It is not for you to know the times or seasons that the Father has established by his own authority.”

Acts 1:7 (NAB)

God has established times and seasons for all kinds of things; the beginning and end of our lives, the parents who raised us, and every person who impacts us and who we impact, during our lifetime. We may not know what God has planned but it’s good to know that He has plans, and He knows the perfect time to have them play out. That alone makes it worthwhile to pray and ask for His perfect timing in everything we do.

I have discovered a simple, but impactful prayer to pray before I leave the house each day. I say, “Lord, I ask for your perfect timing in everything today.”

Whenever I start the day, praying this prayer, some very interesting things seem to happen. I prayed it the day I went to the bank to submit guardianship papers for my son after his accident. After I finished telling the bank official about Jon’s current medical condition, an older woman and total stranger, walked over to tell me that she couldn’t help overhear my story. Then she asked my son’s name so that she could pray for him. She was a total stranger, and I never saw her again, but the bank clerk tells me that she still asks how Jon is doing whenever she goes to the bank. I was amazed that this lady still prays for him. 

I prayed that prayer another day, as I prepared to take a weekly 20 mile drive to pick up Jon’s mail which was sent to a UPS mailbox in Lake County, where he used to live. I arrived at the UPS store and a different clerk was behind the counter that day. When I asked for Jon’s mail, he asked me how he was doing. We talked for a few minutes and he told me that he is a guardian for his adult son, with autism. Then he paused, took my hand and said he would be praying daily for Jon. 

I was stunned by both of these experiences, since it’s not everyday that I run into total strangers who go out of their way from their own routine, in a public place, to tell me that they are praying for my son. I now have no doubt that God intervenes in our lives through everyday people. When we ask for His perfect timing, He brings the right person to the right place, at the right time.

Asking God for His perfect timing is really no different than asking for His will to be done, which is how Jesus taught us to pray the Lord’s Prayer. We also need to ask each day, just like asking for our daily bread. 

I believe God wants to be invited into every aspect of our daily life. It’s kind of like plugging ourselves in to Him before leaving the house. He sends people our way as a network of souls to help and encourage each other every day. 

The Lord proved to me, that He could arrange the day and time to have a particular clerk behind a particular UPS counter, or a certain stranger in a bank at a certain time, on a specific day.

A purpose filled life begins when we ask God to include us in His plans according to His perfect timing. He  loves us and wants to be a part of every aspect of our day, and in everything we do. 

Lord, help us to seek your perfect timing for all that happens in our day. Keep us aware and alert to the signs you send to prove you are working all things for our good. 

“…and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. Then they opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”

Matthew 2:11 (NAB)

I believe that the story of the magi has meaning for us every single day. The Magi came to worship a divine king, who was two years old by the time they arrived. The gospel tells us that they entered “the house” to see the child. So Jesus and his parents were living in a house by the time the Magi arrived.

According to the catacomb paintings and early historians, there were more than three magi, possibly twelve. They were not kings, but advisors to kings, and they came from the East, in what would be present day Iran and Iraq. They were from a completely different culture, educated in mathematics, science, medicine, astronomy, astrology, prophecy, and even magic. They knew the Hebrew prophecy of a divine child to be born, which correlated to the astronomical sign in the sky, and it led them to the house where that toddler king was living. 

Jesus, even at two years old, touched the hearts of those who were outside the margins of His family’s religious community. God had a purpose in leading such a unique group of learned men from the East to visit a poor Hebrew toddler, who wasn’t even old enough to converse with them. What could a two year old boy offer these wise men?

The Magi never heard a parable or a single sermon. They never saw a miracle or witnessed His divine power, and yet they came to bow in worship and offer their gifts to Him. They only knew that this toddler was the Son of God and Savior of the world. They were truly “wise men” because they came to Jesus, to receive the greatest gift of all, the honor of His presence. 

The Magi teach us a great lesson for any Season, which is to seek His presence above all else. They travelled a long way just to worship Jesus and bring Him their gifts. God didn’t lead them there to increase their knowledge, grant them more wisdom or correct the errors of their belief. He led them there to bless them with the presence of His Son.

The prophet Jeremiah said, “You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart.”

(Jeremiah 29:13)

The Magi sought with all their hearts for the Messiah child king.  Every sincere searcher will inevitably be led to a revelation of Jesus. In the presence of that little toddler, they beheld the face of God’s mercy. 

Years later, people beheld the same face of mercy as Jesus taught, prayed, touched, ate, drank and performed many miracles among them. A dying thief beheld His face of mercy as he hung on a cross next to Him, which led him straight to Heaven. 

The entire life of Jesus was directed at finding the lost sheep among His own community as well as those outcasts among the margins of society. Many gladly encountered His face of mercy, and found that His grace extends far beyond cultural, ethnic and racial boundaries.

The Magi happened to be the first group of outsiders, to be blessed by seeking His presence and discovering His face of mercy. 

Lord, may we always envision you as the face of mercy, in all situations. We worship you in all seasons and seek your presence as the greatest gift of all.

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

Luke 15:7 (NIV)

A great aunt once gave me my first bible when I was thirteen. It had a white leather cover with a gold zipper, gold letters on the front, and all the words of Jesus were printed in red. I thanked her for it and then put it on a bookshelf in my bedroom, where it remained unopened for six years. 

During my teen years, I was pursuing my own path and left no room at all for God in my life. From the age of fifteen to nineteen, my mind was obsessed with the occult, which included astrology, card reading, palm reading and any other form of fortune telling. For a brief time, I even dabbled in witchcraft and spell casting, but God sent me a wake up call one night, through a dream.

I dreamed I was running to catch a train. Once I finally got to the train, I jumped on board, but discovered I was on a train of coffins, traveling through a cemetery. I woke up with my heart racing, but had a new respect and curiosity for God and His truth. I remember wondering, if there is a God, what does He expect of me?

The following year I had a life altering experience which changed the trajectory of my life’s purpose. While I was still obsessed with the occult, a friend mentioned a best seller book about bible prophesy and the events foretold that lead to the end of the world.

Being fascinated with any topic on prophesy, I took a city bus to an occult book store in Chicago. When I asked for the book, the clerk looked sternly at me and said, “You don’t want that book-it’s about the bible.” 

I passively accepted his opinion as if I had no mind of my own and headed back home. 

I caught a bus to the intersection where I needed to switch buses in order to get home. While I was waiting to transfer buses, I was standing in front of a small store that sold newspapers, candy, magazines, and cigarettes. 

I’ll never forget the moment I looked in the window of that little store on Western avenue, in Chicago, and saw that book in the front window.

I went inside, bought the book, got  on my bus, went home and read the entire book in my living room that afternoon. It wasn’t the prophesies or the knowledge gained that began to transform my life that day, it was someone. 

At the end of the book, the author had an invitation to pray a certain prayer, asking Jesus to forgive my sins and invite Him into my life. I was raised in the Christian faith, but it was the first time I ever thought of Jesus as dying for me, personally. 

After I bowed my head and prayed that simple prayer, a powerful sense of God’s love flowed over me. I felt a physical sensation of warm oil pouring over my head, which I now realize was the Holy Spirit. God’s forgiveness, love and peace swept over my whole being. Jesus came into my life and a transformation began that day. 

I looked for that dusty, untouched, white leather bible which still sat on my bookcase. I opened it and read the words of Jesus, printed in red letters. It was like reading a personal love letter from God. I lost all interest in the occult and never looked back again. 

That day was mysteriously guided by angels under the direction of the Holy Spirit, from the bus ride to looking in the window of that little store, to reading the entire book, uninterrupted. Angels and the Holy Spirit also guided someone to place that book in the store window that day. I was led to look in the window and in God’s perfect timing, nothing was a coincidence. 

I discovered the joy of knowing Jesus, instead of knowing about Him. Through all the ups and downs of life, the blessings and the losses, in good times and bad times, Jesus has been and still is, a rock of my stability. He is my Savior, my Lord and my best Friend.

Lord, thank you for all the ways you pursue us throughout our lives, by your Spirit, your angels, the power of scripture, and your steadfast love and mercy. Amen