“You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.“
Psalm 139:1-4 (NIV)
I had an experience two years ago that assured me that God knows our thoughts, without a doubt. It was a year after his motorcycle accident, after waking up from a coma, my son, Jon, was placed in a Nursing Facility. At that time he was not walking, wore a diaper, was fed through a stomach tube, and did not speak at all. I talked to him with each visit, hoping to get some sign that he understood me. I remember thinking if he could only communicate. Then one day he surprised me.
After his brain surgery a part of his skull was kept off due to brain swelling, and that piece of skull bone was kept in a sterile medical freezer at the hospital, to be surgically replaced once the brain swelling was gone.
While visiting Jon one day, he did something unusual. He reached out, took my hand and put it on his head, right where the skull bone was missing. Without words, he was asking why his head was so soft in that area. I told him about the motorcycle accident and the skull fracture, followed by brain surgery. Then I explained that the bone would be replaced in a few months. He listened and nodded his head yes, as if he understood me.
It was an amazing breakthrough moment, which revealed that Jon had enough thought process to wonder about his own condition. When I used to see him touching his head, I assumed that he had a headache, but now I know that he was feeling his skull and curious about the missing bone, on the left side.
Since he was physically unable to articulate speech he found a different way of asking me what happened. It was the first time he communicated using a gesture, and it worked for him and showed me that he is not only thinking but understood my answer by nodding.
The bone flap was surgically replaced a few months afterward, when all brain swelling was gone. That was two years ago and this September it will be three years since the accident. Jon now walks on his own, is starting to use a toilet, and feeds himself with his left hand since his right arm remains paralyzed. He likes to browse through family photos and videos of my cat or dog. Andy is a resident about Jon’s age, whose parents visit regularly and we became friends. Martha and Ray occasionally bring along their little pet chihuahua, Jaime, to visit. One day, Jon smiled at Jaime, then he pointed to the dog and said, “So cute.” He is now starting to use words to speak at random moments.
I showed him a photo of himself, when he was in the ICU, in a coma after his accident, to remind him how he got here. He took the phone into his hands and stared intently at his photo. He looked bewildered and serious but kept staring at it for a few minutes, and then gave the phone back to me, as if he understood.
These last few years made me aware in a new way, that God knows our thoughts before we say a word. He perceived what was in my mind, hoping Jon could communicate, as well as Jon’s own thoughts and questions. He answered my prayer as well as Jon’s questions, even though he could not articulate them verbally.
Today’s scripture says that God knows our thoughts before a word is spoken. He is fully in tune with our needs even when we cannot speak. The twists and turns of this life are much easier to cope with, knowing that a loving and good God is always reading our mind and heart, whether we put our thoughts into words or not.
Lord, thank you for your constant presence, and steadfast love and attention to all we think or ask in prayer. Help us to keep our hearts open to you. Amen
