“Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth.”
1 John 3:18 (NAB)
Jesus reminded everyone to back their words up with deeds and acts of kindness. For one person, words mean everything, while for another person, physical touch means more than words. Others just ask for acts of service.
According to the book based on the theory of “Love languages,” every person has a preferred way to give and receive love.
There are supposedly five total love languages. They may be words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gift giving, or spending quality time. Every person is born with a natural inclination for showing or interpreting love in a particular way.
I once attended a Love language seminar at my church, and afterward I wondered what love language Jesus has. Since He was present at every person’s creation, I believe His love language is all five. He put the specific language of love within each person and therefore He is able to receive it, in whichever way we best express it.
Anyone who has ever been a caregiver for a loved one, has expressed physical touch and acts of service every day that they cared for their loved one. Those two love languages alone are used by all caregivers.
Quality time and words of affirmation are so helpful in any relationship. I regret not deliberately giving more words of affirmation and spending more quality time with my husband during his illness. Taking care of a sick person requires constant acts of service, so it’s easy to be busy serving, and forget to slow down and spend some quality time together. Likewise, words of affirmation always seem to escape the key moment, so they are easier said spontaneously, rather than planned.
Quality time, however, did come to my husband from his friends and family, who visited him regularly. That meant the world to him to have his friends and family visit him every weekend, as I served snack foods, while they hung out with him, watching the golf channel. Those visits of quality time, were a special gift to him in his condition. I am thankful for the friends and family who took time to regularly visit him.
When I cared for my mother in the last year of her life, she loved music, so I used to play music from her era, for her to enjoy. One day I just spontaneously started dancing to her music, and she just lit up with joy, clapping and encouraging me on. Those were special moments of joy with her. Still, with both my husband and my mother, I regret not expressing more words of affirmation at the time, but there never seemed to be the right time, or enough of it.
I remember when the two doctors I worked with came to my late husband’s visitation, even though they never knew him. Just seeing them show up, surprised me and warmed my heart, knowing they were there for me. Another doctor who I worked with, couldn’t make it to the wake, but the next day, he showed up at my front door with a blueberry pie in his hands. He heard from someone that I liked blueberry pie. My heart just melted.
Those are spontaneous acts of kindness that will stay with me forever. Who knows what deed of love we have already done for someone, or what we’ll do or say today that will stay in someone’s heart forever. Whether it’s through deeds, words, quality time, physical touch, or gift giving, lovingkindness in any form, received in truth, changes a heart and a life forever.
Lord, thank you for being the author of all love languages and every expression of kindness. Thank you for those who bless our lives and help us to know the best way to express love to others. Amen
