“We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, about those who have fallen asleep, so that you may not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
We all grieve over the loss of our loved ones, or as Paul and the early church called them, those who have “fallen asleep”.
Jesus used that same expression of falling asleep, in reference to Lazarus and the daughter of Jairus, when they both died.
According to Jesus and the entire early church, death is merely falling asleep. It’s a place where mortality ends and we begin our transition to immortality. All that we believe and hope for is centered on what Jesus promised us, saying, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.” (John 11:25)
We all grieve over our loved ones who have fallen asleep in the Lord, but we might also grieve over a medical diagnosis, an estranged relationship, a loved one who has left the faith, a relative who is struggling with substance abuse, or a loved one who has an altered mental status due to Alzheimer’s, dementia or a traumatic brain injury, like Jon’s.
We grieve for our deceased loved ones, with the hope that they will find eternal life, and that we will be reunited with them one day. When we grieve over illness, broken relationships, or other reasons, we can surrender it all to Jesus, praying in hope for the answers to our prayers. We grieve over our loved ones with altered mental states, but we hope that they will always know they are loved.
I cared for my mother in my home, when she started having dementia and other health issues at the age of 91. My prayer was that God would allow me to care for her to the end of her life, and never need to place her in a Nursing Home or a hospital.
I gave her a Lasix pill each day for congestive heart failure. One day as I was bringing her clothes to the laundry room, I found several Lasix pills inside the pocket of her house dress. She had been stashing each pill in her pocket all along, instead of swallowing it.
I wondered how long this had been going on, even though she never expressed any refusal to take her pills.
I confronted her and asked “Mom, why didn’t you take these pills I have been giving you?” She calmly smiled and said with confidence, “An angel told me not to take them.”
After that, I made sure she took each pill. It turned out that she passed away a year later at 92 in her sleep.
I grieved her loss, yet found great comfort in knowing she died in her sleep, and in my home, instead of a Nursing home or a hospital. She may have shortened her life by not taking those pills, but God answered my prayers by keeping her out of any public facilities. Who knows, maybe an angel did talk to her, but my mother knew she was loved, and I was confident that she went to be with the Lord. That’s what it means to grieve with hope.
Christians grieve different than those who grieve without hope in Christ. We grieve with hope in His promises and a faith that enables us to live with confidence and freedom from guilt and anxiety. Hope brings confidence, and confidence brings peace. (Ephesians 3:12-13)
There is a type of grief that I experience in seeing my son, Jon, so disabled, but my peace comes from maintaining my hope in God, who is the one in control. He loves Jon more than anyone, so I want His will to be done. It’s a hope that lifts the burden and heaviness off of me and leaves it with Jesus, just as He invited all of us to do.
This week the surgeon told me that he wants to place a permanent internal shunt in Jon, that will prevent future spikes in his intracranial brain pressure. He told me that there is still hope that the enlarged ventricles in his brain could shrink back to normal size, with the placement of the internal shunt. It’s a brief procedure, and I consented to have it done next Wednesday. Jon will have another week’s stay in the intensive care unit, and I have new hope that he could still improve in the months ahead.
Lord, we pray for all who are grieving in various ways today. Fill our hearts with new hope and faith, as we leave all our prayers and requests in your hands, and grant everyone your peace going forward. Amen