“For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.”
Matthew 6:32-34 (RSV)
While at a church function one night, I was able to get my anxious mind off my own issues, and focus on spiritual things. I happened to speak to a lady there, who I had not seen in many weeks. She is a widow, only older than me, except she is battling cancer. She told me the cancer pills she needs, cost $2,000 a week, but that she has been able to accrue a plentiful supply as free samples from pharmaceutical companies. So far she has not had to buy any of her costly pills. I was glad to see how God took care of her. She went on to share with me what her total monthly income is, and I was even more amazed that she manages to make ends meet, living alone and caring for herself with all the effects of cancer. Her whole demeanor is a pillar of emotional strength, and she is so independent for her age. While she shared the details relating to her health and finances, it occurred to me that God was speaking to me through her. She explained her situation not as someone seeking pity, but as one who is simply walking by faith in all aspects of her life. Before parting, we discussed meeting for lunch one day, and then she calmly walked back to her car, limping with her cane. After that conversation, I knew God was speaking to me about a particular anxiety that I was struggling with over the past two weeks. It all started with signing a contract to sell my home, and the futile search for a smaller one to buy. My whole motive was to lower my cost of living for retirement later this year. It’s obvious that she has much more to be anxious about, than I do, yet she was living in perfect peace. God gave her the grace of total reliance on Him. She has an aura of strength, and I know that God wants us all to live in that same grace. I suddenly felt that God was speaking to me through her, saying “ Stop your worrying, I will take care of you.” I knew He wanted me to hear her story, which is probably the reason she shared many private details with me that I would never ask about. Character and strength are developed after surviving the many tests and trials of adversity. When we are faced with a new kind of trial, it means God is producing a new kind of character trait within us. He did it in her and He is doing it in all of us. I have been asking God recently to speak to me, ease all my confusion and give me direction. He has answered my prayer, by speaking to me through various people, but last night was crystal clear. She was unaware, but He spoke to me through her. After sleeping on it, God is saying, “stay in your home, it’s not the time to leave.” Good always comes out of our tests and trials, and I’m sure God is doing something good in me through this experience. It’s the home I love, and the Holy Spirit is giving me peace of mind with clear direction to stop worrying and stay, because my Father in heaven knows everything I need both today and tomorrow and He will take of me.