“Know this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
James 1:19 (RSV)
In a book I just read, an impactful point was made, about listening to understand, rather than listening to respond. Some people are good listeners by nature, and others need to make a conscious effort with the intention to understand. I believe anyone can learn to become a better listener, and I plan to start now.
Everyone needs to feel heard and understood, but when we listen to someone with understanding, it’s more than a gift, it’s life changing.
Nothing illustrates this truth more than the many stories of a retired California Highway patrolman, who has confronted hundreds of people, who intended to take their own life. In Officer Briggs’ thirty years on the job, his assignment area was the Golden Gate Bridge, in San Francisco, which is the most utilized suicide spot in the world. 1,600 people have jumped to their death since the bridge was built 87 years ago.
Sergeant Briggs has successfully prevented over 200 people from committing suicide, in the span of his own career. He had no psychiatric training, no counseling expertise, no clever words of persuasion, and no set of convincing phrases to speak. He just listened to the person on the bridge, but he listened with a sincere intent to understand.
When the potential jumpers left the bridge and later were asked, what changed their mind, they said it was because of the officer who listened to them.
It was more than a job for him, because Sergeant Briggs was driven by compassion, stemming from a family memory. He regretted not being there to listen to his own grandfather, who committed suicide many years ago. God gives people various gifts, both spiritual and natural gifts, but listening is a gift that anyone can give.
Sergeant Briggs has written a book and gives talks about his job experiences. He also pioneered changes, so that all the officers in that particular patrol area, now receive extra training and learn the skill of listening.
Sometimes the most profound advice, sounds too simple. James tells us to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. If we are quick to hear, then we shouldn’t have the time to plan a response.
Solomon, the wise king, once said, “Fools take no delight in understanding, but only in displaying what they think.” (Proverbs 28:2)
I’m going to keep Solomon’s warning deep within my heart, so I will desire to understand more than I desire to display my thoughts.
Jesus inclines His ear to us, which He proves every time a prayer is answered, that has been asked in His name. The psalmist knew that God hears us with understanding, saying
“I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.” (Psalm 116:1-2)
It’s amazing to imagine, that the all powerful and eternal God is inclining His ear to each of us every day. If every person in the world could know that they are truly heard and understood by God, it would change the world.
Sergeant Kevin Briggs gives us just a tiny example of the way God inclines His ear to listen to us. God has been listening for a long time, hearing us with outstretched arms. Now He wants to send us into the world to reveal His love through one unified church, listening to understand those around us.
Jesus, Himself, prayed for our unity as believers, and He has always had a remnant of believers, who humbly listen and are interceding in prayer for their nation and the world. (Romans 11:5)
Some people cannot hear the redemption message of Christ, until they feel heard and understood. It starts by listening to the soul who is standing on the bridge near us.
Lord, we love you because you hear all of our pleas. Help us to share the gift of true listening, and to discover the delight in understanding, as we listen with love. Unify your church worldwide and open our eyes and ears to all who need to be heard and understood. Amen
